Nobody cares that you knew Dreamweaver; it’s not relevant anymore.

Flash or actionscript?  Same.

Visual basic?   You know you’re applying for a web developer position, right?

Windows 95/98/NT/ME/7/8?   Oh come on now.

Microsoft Office?  Sorry, you just blew it.

Did you seriously misspell “colfusion” ?   Alright, who was this… funny joke guys!

So there is a common practice in the recruiting business, even in hiring departments for large companies, to run resumes through a keyword scan.  At least, it used to be a common practice… I’d like to think people are wising up now.

Some recruiters do need the keyword scan back… or at least stop offering me Java dev jobs, having matched against “javascript” on my CV.   Ugh!

Once this information got out, job seekers would craft resumes that looked like dictionaries of technologies, languages, applications, software, and operating systems, past and present.  Load up all the keywords, increase your chances of getting past the scan and a foot in the door!




When I see resumes like this from a candidate, here’s what I’m thinking:

  1. This person isn’t clear on the purpose of a resume.
  2. Out of the 100 languages/apps/pieces of software listed, this person probably sucks at ALL of them equally.
  3. They have no idea what the job is they are actually applying for.
  4. They’ve come to us through a recruiter who still uses these awful keyword scan practices, and therefore is probably funnelling some totally inappropriate candidates to us.
  5. The person is either extremely lazy and doesn’t give a shit, or they honestly don’t know any better… which is probably scarier.
  6. Nobody can know all this stuff… this candidate is lying.

Listen folks, I’m here to help.   So some quick advice.

When putting together your resume, avoid the urge to rattle off every technology under the sun.  Leave out all the fluff.   Tailor that shit for the job you are applying for.  Don’t lie and list things you don’t actually know.   WE WILL FIND OUT AND YOU WILL LOOK STUPID.   And probably my biggest pet peeve, don’t make a typo on your own goddamn resume.